Life Beyond The Camera
by TheAmazingKatrona
Summary: Dan and Phil both have their separate issues and they don't even seem to notice they have them. Complicated relationships, some fighting and maybe even some lasting damage. Who knows what'll happen in their futures? This is a different version of a story I wrote called "What Happened To My Little Lion?". I didn't like it so I'm rewriting it with new parts added in.
1. Waking Up To Nothing

**PHIL**

It was 4am on a Saturday morning when I woke up. The bed sheets clung to my skin which was drenched with sweat. I must have had another bad dream but yet again I couldn't remember for the life of me what it was about. Rolling over I looked out the window into the skyline of London. Not the best view but still spectacular in that modern-day building view kind of way. Still sometimes I wished I could look out and see the rolling hills of the countryside or the vast abyss of space and be surrounded by stars. Now that would be cool.

Dan was snoring away from the other room as he often started doing lately. He never used to snore but ever since his new "hobby" he couldn't seem to help it. I tried to think what we were going to do today but my mind came up blank, as it often did these days. It seemed like today was going to be like all the others.

Switching my view to the ceiling I stared absentmindedly, enjoying the peace and quiet of the early morning. I willed time to stop and for me not to have to get up and go about my day, or face the day at all. I would quite happily just lay here and do nothing until I was an old skeleton for all I cared. To be honest I couldn't figure out why either. I just didn't want to do anything lately, or to face anything. It was a strange feeling.


	2. Another Crappy Morning

**DAN**

I woke up groggily again to be hit with the blinding sun in my face. The damn bedroom was on the wrong side of the apartment so I always got a face full of sun in the morning. Rubbing my eyes I turned my head to check the time. _9am?_ I thought. _That is way too early_. It was then I tuned in to the throbbing in my skull. The usual dull pain of the night before coming back to punish me. But I just didn't care anymore. What was the point?

From outside the room I could hear the shower from the bathroom. _I guess Phil must be up too._

I didn't want to move. I didn't want to get up. But life was unfair and so I had to. Might as well do some filming or something before the fans get mad at my lack of updates.

Swinging my legs round I grudgingly get up and sit on my bed rather than lie down. My t-shirt is crumpled up and I'm missing a sock but I am way too sore to care right now. And of course the light of day is shining through the hallway so my eyesight is blinded even more while trying to go to the kitchen. Damn the sun.

Once there I sit and wait for Phil. I mean it was his turn to make breakfast.


	3. Breakfast Drinks

**PHIL**

The shower was supposed to be relaxing and help me get some sort of energy or motivation for the day but it didn't and now I'm stuck making pancakes while Dan groans against the breakfast bar. The pain he feels is kind of what he gets after a night's worth of drinking. Then again I'm surprised he's not used to the aching by now.

Cooking is also proving more difficult than I thought. My arms feel heavy and lifeless at the same time and the smell makes me gag, which is strange considering I used to love pancakes. Finishing them I pile them all onto one plate and slide it over to Dan who slowly lifts his head up.

"Thanks Phil." He says, before looking confused at my side of the bar. "Aren't you having any?"

I shake my head, "Nah, I don't think I'm feeling too good today."

"Yeah, well join the club." He says as he rubs his fringe back. I think it's going to be a hobbit hair day seeing as we're not going anywhere. "Can you pour me a drink please?"

"Sure. You want milk or OJ?"

He pauses, once again looking a bit confused at me. "You know what kind of drink I mean Phil."

"Dan don't you think it's a bit early?"

"It is never too early Phil."

I hesitate to pour what he wants but his face makes me think he almost needs it right now. Begrudgingly I get out the whisky and pour it into a glass for him.

"Cheers" He says before downing the whole thing. Naturally he grabs the whole bottle and keeps it by his side the rest of breakfast time. All I can do is sigh and go sit on the couch.


	4. Illness and The Antidote

**DAN**

My head hurts less and less the more I drink and so I drink until the pain is merely a dull ache in the back of my mind. I scoffed down the pancakes and apparently my entire bottle so now I need to go get some more. Great. That means going outside.

I move to get my wallet off the couch where I think I left it last night and sure enough its right beside Phil who turned the TV on but doesn't even seem to be paying attention to it.

"Hey Phil, you even on Earth right now?" I say with a slight chuckle. At my question he seems to snap back into reality.

"Uh yeah, sorry. I guess I spaced out."

"It's alright, just wondering where you were there."

He gives me a slight smile before looking back to the TV. There's something on the news about a car crash near Manchester. The news always has to be so gruesome.

"You gonna film today Phil?"

He shrugs, "I dunno. I don't really feel up to it to be honest."

"Maybe you should go get some rest. You look pretty tired."


	5. Unmotivated

**PHIL**

Dan points out how I look tired, which is strange considering I've been almost oversleeping on most nights lately, except today. Even so he's right, I can never seem to feel that energized no matter how much sleep I get. I'm always tired no matter what.

"Yeah, I am a bit tired. Maybe I will. Thanks Dan."

"No problem" He says, "I'm just going out to the shops. I'll be back later."

"Yeah sure. See you later." I say as he walks out of the apartment. That's his second bottle in…what? Five days? Maybe even four. Maybe I should talk to him…But that can wait until he's home.

I head back to my room to see if I can nap and get some energy but even as I lie in the most comfortable position I can find I just can't seem to sleep at all right now. I try and think of something else to do to maybe pass the time.

Film? I don't really feel like it.

Internet? Doesn't seem that fun right now.

Movie or games? Again doesn't seem that interesting.

I guess I just don't feel like doing anything right now…


	6. Drinking With The Guys

**DAN**

After picking up and dropping off some more of my favourite drink I head back out into town to see what's going on in London. By this point it's around 5pm, as I decided to kill some time playing games at the flat. I head over to my favourite place in the city: a little bar called "Misty's Place". It's small and quaint yet modern which I like about the place. As soon as I walk in the nostalgia of many a night sweeps over me and I smile in the comfort of a familiar place with familiar people. The bartender even notices me as I walk up to the bar.

"Hey Dan, the usual for ya?"

"Yeah, thanks Mark."

Mark pours me some sort of Brandy I can never pronounce the name of correctly so I don't even bother trying any more. It's not even like I need to, I come here so often he just knows what I want. I look around the place, seeing who's here today. There's some student looking guys watching the football match that's playing on the TV in the corner of the room, a girl and two guys playing pool on the other side of the bar and of course the other regulars who are sitting in their usual booth. I smile and with my drink head over to the booth.

"Hey guys."

They all greet me in their usual manner before heading back into their conversation about something or other. I decide to start talking to Luke, the quieter one out of all of them.

"So Luke, how's life?" I say before taking a swing out of my drink.

"Ach same old, same old. How about yours?"

"Also the same as before. Shitty with a side serving of crap."

"I feel you man." He nods respectively. "How's that room-mate of yours, eh?"

"Phil? Yeah he's fine. Ill I think but fine."

Luke just smiles before sipping his own drink and we both dip and dive in and out of the main conversation. Out of all the guys there I feel like I connect more to Luke. He's young, like me, went to university and dropped out, also like me, and now he's just drifting along to wherever he feels like going which right now happens to be London.

Admittedly, he's not the worst looking guy I've ever seen. Reasonably toned, with these green eyes and short brown hair not that different from Phil's. He's definitely more a catch than I am.


	7. Drunk on Life

**PHIL**

I'm still lying in bed from earlier that afternoon having only moved to go to the bathroom and eat some small thing that I honestly can't even remember what it was. I wasn't even that hungry, I just didn't know what else to do. It was dark out by now I knew that and pretty late too. 11pm at least, and Dan was still out. Though that wasn't unusual for him. What would be unusual would be if he came home right now.

Another couple of hours pass, lying absently in bed, until I hear some loud irregular thumps at the door and a muffled groan. I guess Dan forgot his keys, though that doesn't really matter, he normally can't even get them in the door by now. Sighing, I stumble out of bed and head to the door, opening it to find a (surprise surprise) pretty drunk Dan Howell leaning against the door frame.

"Heyyyy Phil!" He slurs, stumbling into the apartment. I close the door, feeling something twist in my gut as the reeking smell of alcohol hits my nose. I feel sorry for the neighbours who almost definitely heard him on his way up here. "Man you still look pretty crappy. I thought you were asleep?"

"I couldn't sleep." I say quietly, not really bothered if he heard or not. I doubt he'll remember this anyway. "You're back early"

"Yeahh man, I was at the bar and then, and then, uhh, the guys left and Luke invited me to his but I was like nahhhh I gotta go home to Phillip." He hiccoughs and giggles slightly at the use of my full name, or so I guess he does. I guess he also notices my slight frown. "Awhhh Phil! Whats the matter, huh? You're lookin a lil' down."

"It's nothing…I just…" I hesitate but then I remember he won't remember any of this so I figure what the hell, "I sometimes wish you wouldn't go out so much or, y'know, drink so much."

"Whhhhaaa?!" He practically shouts, making me wince at the sudden volume. "Man, I'm jus tryin to have some fun while I can cause life." He slobbily points to me, "Is short my good friend and we've just gotta grab at it and live."

"Mhmm…" I mumble. "Okay Dan, I think it's time for bed."

"NO!" He screams, "I want to drink a lil longer."

"But Dan-"

"No Phil, I'm stayin and you don't have a say."

"Dan I really think—"

"Well I don't care Phil, stop tryin to control me!" Dan starts to get really defensive.

"I not trying to—

"No no noo, you think you can waltz in here and get me into bed well I'm telling you mister I am not that easy!" He begins to stagger back towards the door.

"Dan where are you going now? I really don't think you should go out right now."

"I'm going out to somewhere where I'm understood and nobody tries to get into my bed!" And with that he slams the door and heads back out, leaving me a bit confused. As well as that though I begin to feel that twist in my gut again.

Maybe he's right…maybe I'm being controlling?


	8. An Offer He Can't Refuse

I stagger out of the door to my flat and head down the stairs which proves a lot more difficult that I thought it would. The world is literally swimming and but I feel on top of the world so I reckon I can do anything.

"Stupid Phil. Tryna control me!"

I get my phone out, almost dropping it in the process and look for Luke's number to see if I can still take his offer of going to his place. It rings a couple times when I dial before picking up.

"Hello?" A rather slurred voice answers the phone.

"Luke?" I say, "Luke, it's me. It's Dan."

"Oh heyyy man. Whatsup?"

"Can I..." I pause to burp a bit. "Can I come roun to yours? Phil's being an ass."

"Oh yeah yeah, sure sure uhhh…just come on by."

"Cool man, be there soon."

Almost falling down the stairs I hang up and make my slow my over to Luke's on foot.


End file.
